Reciprocity

There’s an old Jerry Clower joke that goes like this: Uncle Versie went to the sale an bought an old no count horse for $25. He took him home, cleaned him up and made the horse look good. The neighbor, Mr. Delauter saw the horse and offered Versie $50. Mr. Delauter took the horse home, trimmed, combed and braided his mane and put ribbons on the braids. Uncle Versie saw him a week later and offered Mr. Delauter $75. Versie took the horse home, had him reshod, got him to to prance when he trotted around. Mr. Delauter saw him a week later and offered $100. SOLD! A month went by and Uncle Versie got to missin’ the horse and went over to see him at Mr. Delauter’s farm. Versie said, “Where’s the horse?” Delauter said, “I sold him last week to a feller in Texas for $1,000.” Distraught, Versie cried out in anguish. “What in the world’s wrong?” said Delauter. Versie replied, “Now look here Delauter, you and me was both making a good livin’ off that horse!”

The word reciprocity has been floating around a bit lately. I had been familiar with its use as a business concept, which was so well demonstrated by the relationship between Uncle Versie and Mr. Delauter. Originally based on the barter system, it has come to describe the exchange of value with the expectation of a similar return. In short, If I do something for you, I expect a similar response in return for our mutual benefit. The term has found a place in government interactions like when different states recognize marriages across the country, or when US citizens are allowed to travel freely in European countries and visa versa.

In cultural discussions the term finds use in describing the dynamics of friendship. I’ll be friendly to you because I have expectations that you will return my gestures of friendship in like measure. It can provide some sort of balance in establishing social norms until someone in the group or organization is not able to “reciprocate”, and therefore feels negative pressure from the group.

The term never caught much of my interest, principally because when social media appropriates a term it tends to take on more of a popularly accepted definition and I tend to avoid these conversations . It certainly never came up in my mind to contemplate as a Core Value. That is until I read the works of Robin Wall Kimmerer. Dr. Kimmerer is a Native American, PhD Botanist who combines her objective scientific research background with her deep understanding of the human interaction with Creation. Here is a quote I got from a passage in Braiding Sweetgrass,

“The Honorable Harvest asks us to give back, in reciprocity, for what we have been given. Reciprocity helps resolve the moral tension of taking a life by giving in return something of value that sustains the ones who sustain us.” Dr. Robin Wall Kimmerer from Braiding Sweetgrass, 2013, p. 190

All beings are interconnected. Humans must respect and care for Creation in order to achieve “ecological” balance if not for our own survival. Up to this point, reciprocity, to me, has involved more of a self-centered approach to relationships. I’ve been good to you in the past, and so now I expect you to be good to me. But I think indigenous peoples take more of a forward looking approach. Harvest and hunting rituals often occur(ed) in advance, offering thanks to the life beings who will offer themselves for human sustenance. In return, there are covenants to only take what is necessary, share with all in need, and use all that was taken (no wastefulness). Permission is requested of the life being and gratitude is paid through offering the sacred medicine of tobacco.

Here is how this all boils down for me, and why this word is up for consideration as a core value. Every decision we make, every action we take, comes at a cost. Reciprocity is the acknowledgment of this as a law of Creation. The flight I took to spend time in Joshua Tree impacted the environment. So does driving my truck to work. The interaction with a student who made a mistake, in which I chose to stand on policy rather than be gracious. The practice of traditions or the use of language that represents hurt and pain to others. Reciprocity is the act of considering the impact of all these things… in advance. Perhaps there is a mitigation or less impactful way. Perhaps there is something I can offer in return. And maybe, I alter my path in respect for those who have a different perspective.

“Everything is connected.Every decision we make, every action we take, comes at a cost.”

So now, does it make my list of the seven Core Values? Which core value moves off the list? Perhaps it fits well within another, like maybe Gratitude, or Integrity. I’ll need to pray about it.